I’ve always tried to be honest with readers. Nonfiction guru Lee Gutkind calls it “keeping it real.”

So here goes: when I wrote of identities yesterday, I told only half the truth.

What I said is that, when we retire, we don’t suddenly lose the gifts that made us good at what we did. What I didn’t say is that we often do lose the acknowledgement of those abilities.

When I stopped being a camp director, I can’t remember ever being asked for advice by new directors. For the record, I didn’t ask either (maybe it’s because we think we know what our predecessor will say).

Same happened when I left the church. While still a pastor, folks asked how I came up with relevant and moving sermons. And I had plenty of opportunities to deliver them. Not afterwards.

And I’m expecting the same with teaching. I’m not going to get requests from new teachers wanting to know how I motivated students (again, I didn’t ask my predecessor either, something I now regret).

So if you live with a retired person who is struggling with lost identity. Know that the pain comes not because he or she is unnoticed but unused.

Now, I’ve come to the point in my blog where I offer hope (a thought to help us deal with unpleasant realities). And I’ll do that—tomorrow.

For now, and in honor of those who struggle with identity lost, I’ll let the pain linger, which it often does for too many retirees.